What Would You Do If You Had One Hour To Live?

"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" -Bob Dylan    

    I was asked a question by my girlfriend the other day. She asked me, "What would you do if you only had one hour to live?" I wish I could have come up with a good answer in that moment, but I could only respond with "I'm not sure." After I was able to think about it for a few days I figured it out. Most people would expect me to say that I would spend time with family or friends, but that's not what I would do. Truly the only person that has been with me all my life is myself. 

    

    Now I'm not trying to sound like a narcissist by saying that I would spend my last hour by myself. I would genuinely want to be alone. I would likely sit in my room listening to music. I would try to listen to as much music as I could. An hour would be able to get me through about an album and a half. I would choose Blood on the Tracks by Bob Dylan and the second side of Grace by Jeff Buckley. Those albums got me through parts of my life. And I am the only one that knew that about myself.

    I would not simply be able to just listen to music for an hour and do nothing else. I would need to communicate one last thing to my loved ones. I would write out a letter to my family and friends telling them what I would want them to do without me. I'd sure my girlfriend finds someone to treat her well. My mom would need to remember that she had lived without me before. Zoltán would need to continue our company in my memory.

    That's about all that can be done in an hour. What if I had 24 hours? That would change the entire process. I'd try my best to get Zoltán and Alice to come out to the crag with me. A five hour session would take place. I would have fun with them for that time. I would say goodbye, likely all crying. My father would make me a meal that I enjoy. We would go for one last bike ride. Me and my mother would talk about our days. Finally, I would lay down in my bed for one last time. 

    I don't wanna make this seem all sappy. I'm simply expressing what I would do in these situations. This would of course all still be very scary. The fear of death is real, which is a topic I will touch on more later. I would like to share a short story I wrote about this idea of only having 24 hours left to live. Walking through a young man's final day. Please enjoy.

B. Smith

The Final Acts

By: Benjamin Smith

    My alarm went off as the clock hit six. I arose from my bed and made my way to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and realized that the timer had now begun. 

    Making my way downstairs I could hear my mother, "Good Morning Jack!" Why was she acting as if nothing was going on? "It's my last day, mother.", I replied. She responded with "I'm well aware, so let's not make it so gloomy." Her point made me think. 

    I called up my bestfriend. He began to come over. Once he arrived I opened the door and saw his face covered in tears. He acted as if he were completely fine. "The whole day is ahead of you", He said with his lips trembling. 

    We headed on into my room. The door was closed while we put on some music. I layed out three albums I wanted to listen to. "What do you wanna do while we listen to these records." I asked. "Jack, I don't wanna pretend that it's not your last day." He replied. We decided to play some cards. I got up to change the record, I lifted the door to the record player and switched out the records. 

    He headed home soon after his arrival. I gave him a hug and we did not say another word. Although I was hurt by this moment I knew that he had the rest of his life to walk through without me.

    My mom took me to get lunch with her. We went to our favorite Chinese restaurant. She began to weep. "I wish people weren't acting like they are at my funeral all the time," I said, "they say they want my final hours to be full of joy, but then begin to cry." "It's not easy to keep ourselves together," My mother said. 

    I had told myself the day prior that I would live today to its fullest and do everything I wanted to do, not doing things for other, but now that this time has come I do not want to do anything. "I'm home Jack!" My father said. He put our bikes onto his car and we headed out. He took me to my favorite biking spot. My father was having a grand time on the downhill sections, while I was enjoying the strenuous uphill parts. I had never liked the uphill parts. 

    After we arrived back at home, all of us went out for my final meal at my favorite restaurant.

    When we arrived back at home I said goodnight to my mother and father. I layed down in my bed. I was not content with my final day. I knew at this moment that I was done. My head lay on my pillow and my eyes shut. It is finished.

    My alarm went off again. The clock had struck 7 o'clock. I was alive and my door was wide open. Today I will do what I want to do, living life without anyone else's control.